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i don't need this place. i don't need these walls.
so today i'm going to that concert
not of my own accord, but to babysit ivy and her friend.
but i like briana.
she called me pretty :D
i'd trade her for ivy any day haha
i hope that at the least, tonight is bearable.
i absolutely cannot believe how little time we have left for this year.
everything is going to change.
i'm going to be a senior, cesar is leaving, i'll probably have a car and a new job, i'm going to asu, i need to send in college applications...
i really hate thinking about all the things i need to do.
but its tough.
i should probably focus on things that i DON'T need to do.
like be afraid of conflict, or putting off homework until the period before...
hah. i'm sending myself into a cycle :/
i think michael may be mad at me or something. he never really talks much anymore.
maybe it had something to do with last weekend.
idk, it's just weird.
urgh, ANOTHER thing i have to do..buy a prom dress.
and dye my hair :D
but the second part will be fun and wont make me feel self concious and that i need to constantly work out to fit into a damn dress that i will wear only once.
cesar asked me in a really cute way, though. i couldn't say no :]
he took me outside and was like "look what someone did on the side of my building!"
he had spelled out will you go to prom with me in little billboard letters.
he's full of surprises. and i wont admit it to him, but i like it :]
he really does make me overwhelmingly happy.
maybe that's why i'm so terrified every time i think of him leaving.
because there are so many people out there. wayy out there where he'll be.
and i'm just a little girl with no idea of the world.
i make mistakes, i'm not perfect.
but someone will be.
and yes, if that happens i don't know what i'd do. my world would be torn apart.
i want to make the most of the time i have with him. i'm definately trying to.
haha even though that involves me biting the life out of his fingertips :]
he started it!
my mind is scattered.
i want to paint something abstractly beautiful.
and the world is my canvas.
not of my own accord, but to babysit ivy and her friend.
but i like briana.
she called me pretty :D
i'd trade her for ivy any day haha
i hope that at the least, tonight is bearable.
i absolutely cannot believe how little time we have left for this year.
everything is going to change.
i'm going to be a senior, cesar is leaving, i'll probably have a car and a new job, i'm going to asu, i need to send in college applications...
i really hate thinking about all the things i need to do.
but its tough.
i should probably focus on things that i DON'T need to do.
like be afraid of conflict, or putting off homework until the period before...
hah. i'm sending myself into a cycle :/
i think michael may be mad at me or something. he never really talks much anymore.
maybe it had something to do with last weekend.
idk, it's just weird.
urgh, ANOTHER thing i have to do..buy a prom dress.
and dye my hair :D
but the second part will be fun and wont make me feel self concious and that i need to constantly work out to fit into a damn dress that i will wear only once.
cesar asked me in a really cute way, though. i couldn't say no :]
he took me outside and was like "look what someone did on the side of my building!"
he had spelled out will you go to prom with me in little billboard letters.
he's full of surprises. and i wont admit it to him, but i like it :]
he really does make me overwhelmingly happy.
maybe that's why i'm so terrified every time i think of him leaving.
because there are so many people out there. wayy out there where he'll be.
and i'm just a little girl with no idea of the world.
i make mistakes, i'm not perfect.
but someone will be.
and yes, if that happens i don't know what i'd do. my world would be torn apart.
i want to make the most of the time i have with him. i'm definately trying to.
haha even though that involves me biting the life out of his fingertips :]
he started it!
my mind is scattered.
i want to paint something abstractly beautiful.
and the world is my canvas.
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